Hard to believe that I started the Life Review on March 23, 2011 basically at 8pm CST with Sharon Taphorn who is my Angel Life Coach. Ten years ago I did a Life Review and that is when I started Lady Jz Talk Zone . My first websites became communities/groups on msn and the rest has been history. And plenty of it too! Nine years ago I left Myrtle Beach to begin a new chapter of my life after writing so much about the past. Funny to me now how this life review was about shredding most of that story and not writing about the last ten years. Learning to just "Let It Go" has taken on some new meaning for me.
For those who have known me all these years on the web, most know where and how LadyJtalks became my name and life online. Finding a voice and speaking out helped many others finally not be afraid to speak their own story. I can look back now and see how far the whole concept of groups/blogs/friendships has evolved since I first came online in 1998 and shared in one of the very first website where people could share with others. Many Voices Press was that site, and Lynn is still there with not only her website, she also has a newsletter and has become a full none profit org. How great is that to still be out here.
Back then there was a handful of communities/groups that began sharing with each other. Seen many come and go over those first years. So much sharing and growth came out of them. Now you can put near anything you want or need to know into the search engine and find sometimes way to much information. For better or for worse that is where the internet has taken us. I'm grateful for all the groups, people, forums that were out here when I started and I still promote a few good blogs and people I have met along the way. There are so many more I know you can find to talk about any thing special you need at any time. These are just the few that I have personally talked to and shared with.
There is always that part of me (us) who wants you to have the whole story before I get to the part about what I'm doing now. To tell you the truth, it's just to long with so many twist and turns, that I decided this whole section of my life's novel just didn't need to be told word for word. Now that's a new concept because that's how we started out here on the web. That part of my life where I couldn't move forward until I not only accepted the past, in many cases as a dissociate, I had to discover it. A very interesting part of the Life Review was shredding that draft copy everyone got to read when they came into my life called "A Time to Remember". If I wrote a draft about the last ten years I would have to name that one "A Time to Forget".
First I had to Allow Myself to Cry. And I did for months, I cried. I was hurt, afraid, betrayed, denied... and that list goes on. Like I guess if I was allowed real feelings I would have felt back as a child. There was no time for that, wasn't allowed, and to survive as an adult there was only a small amount of that would have been safe to expose myself to. By the time I learned those names for things there wasn't a place for them in life. There were some people who thought I was to emotional before I started the none stop crying. They never noticed how much everything that happened was hurting me. I had to accept that it wasn't their life that was being hurt, it was mine.
Then I had to discover what to do and where to go. So here I am back where I started this all ten years ago. I'm in Myrtle Beach, SC starting the chapter of living again. Let's see if I can keep it between the lines for a while. More to come...